About the section: All the characters and companies mentioned in this section are fictitious and resemblance to anything real is completely virtual. We publish sarcastic write-ups of various events in the office.You can also publish your articles here and share a good laugh with your colleague.To contribute to this section, send your article on firstname.lastname@example.org Mention “Office Humour” in the subject line.
Mr. Techbala Singham works for Kolaveri Di Tech Pvt. Ltd in Bangalore. On Monday morning, he started coding early in the morning at 11:30 a.m. SELECT Yes, For software professionals 11:30 a.m. is early !!) He is deeply engrossed in Matrix Level coding SELECT Bytes of zeros and ones are falling through the screen in full speed). All of a sudden, he hears a shrill alarm. At first he thinks that he has missed a complex bug in the code, which rings a bell when the silliness of the bug reaches a threshold level. This bug – level alarm is introduced by the new project management process.
He realizes that this is the FIRE ALARM. He knows that this alarm is for the fire drill but his coding momentum forces him to stick to his desk. However the alarm is so damn irritating, that he cannot bear it anymore. The pitch of the sound goes up and down like a distorted sine curve and it’s even more unbearable every time it repeats. Unwillingly, he stands up and starts going to the door. He moves with a slow pace as if a heavy weight is tied to his feet like a dangerous prisoner. Everyone is swiping their access card to move out. He hears the beep beep sound. He scornfully look at the folks who are swiping their cards. He says to himself, in case of a real fire would they still swipe their cards? He thinks they are real jerks who follow the process blindly.
Anyways, he follows the herd without swiping the card. The floor warden with the red/yellow cap are organizing the team. They are asking people to move to a safe assembly area and line up where the placard of the respective floor is displayed. The security guards are in action. They are the only one who are participating in the fire drill sincerely as if they are practicing for the Independence Day Parade. They are blowing the whistle and guiding the employees to line up and asking them not to use the elevator. The chief Security guard is standing in front of the elevator as if he is guarding the national treasure. Everyone is using the stairs. A couple who was sitting at the staircase of the top most floor also rush downstairs and mingle in the crowd. The interns who were playing table tennis and carrom had to abandon their game. They are feeling low as if that the IPL match is cancelled due to the rain. All the vehicles were stopped at the entrance gate. Some freshers, who were late at the gate thought that they will get punishment.
Yuvraj Rawat had come to Bangalore from Gurgaon for a useless classroom training and he is even trained for a fire drill !! He says “Pan Chor, Aisa Gurgaanwa mein to nahi hota bhai!!” SELECT A slang, This does not happen in Gurgaon). They all stand in a queue and watch the fire officer showing a demo of what to do in case of a fire. Yuvraj, who is tall and bulky like the great wrestler Khali, puts his 2.5 kg. hand on Techbala’s shoulder.Techbala turns back and again hears the fire alarm!!!! And this time it’s even louder and real.
No No..it’s not the fire alarm, it’s his wake-up alarm and it’s not Yuvraj, that was his room-mate who is frantically trying to wake him up. Techbala slips out of his dream and slides into Monday morning blue. He has to reach office ‘early’ by 11:30 a.m. !!!
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